Whenever I introduce myself to someone new and tell them I’m from LA, I’m generally always met with the same response: “Wow, there sure aren’t very many of you. You’re a unicorn!” Every single time! But I for one wholeheartedly reject this label. I don’t think there’s anything that separates me from the rest of the mere mortals struggling to survive in this deceptively laid back city. And so I’d like to share some stories from my life: stories which you will hopefully find relatable, funny, and horrifying in equal measure. Note: this is not a blog. It’s just an account of my life. A brief log, if you will. A blog! Wait, shit.

(Yes, I’m aware “unicorn” is also a sex thing)

(Yes, I hate the unicorn food trend every bit as much as you do)